We all know about the “still, small Voice” of God, the inner knowing that only comes when we are quiet enough to hear it. I’ve heard that still, small voice. I know how it feels to have it reveal itself.… but I confess that, most of the time, the poor Voice is drowned out by the hurly-burly inside my mind. The chatter can get very loud and obnoxious.
As a result, as I’ve often joked with friends, if I seriously want to know God’s will in some situation, I consciously pray, “God, please reveal Your will to me—and make it so obvious even I can’t miss it!” It’s not really a joke, though. I have learned that I can be quite obtuse — and sometimes downright obstinate – when it comes to picking up subtle clues. Sometimes, I need a “tap” from God’s 2 x 4 to finally listen to Him.
Imagine my surprise and delight, then, when I recently sat down to journal and actually “got” His lesson right then and there. I was feeling discouraged about a situation I was struggling with, and I hoped to gain some insight. Then, as I wrote the words, “sometimes I feel like a wayward child,” my pen ran out of ink– on the word “wayward.” I pressed harder, trying to get the ink to flow on the word, to no avail. Ordinarily, I would have by now simply gotten myself another pen and continued from where I’d stopped. This time, however, I didn’t. Instead, I moved the pen over slightly on the paper and saw that, once it was away from that word, the ink flowed again. Interesting. It was as if God was saying I shouldn’t judge myself so harshly. OK, thank you God. I got it!
Two sentences later, using that same pen, the ink stopped again– just as I was acknowledging how self-critical I can be. In the middle of the word “critical.” (I told you I can be obtuse.) When I skipped over the word and the pen began working again, I could only laugh. OK, God! NOW I get it! I am Your beloved child, Your creation. Negative self-talk will never solve my problems or bring me home to You. Message received.
As I completed my writing, I felt God’s laughter and love enveloping me. “Ah…she got it!” This is one patient Creator we have here.